NEVER Imagined Taking...

Actually written on January 9th, 2018. The recovery hasn't been an easy one and the experiences since then have been difficult. Just REALLY hard.. Its a ever silent world screaming so loud I can barely hear myself crying...

I laid in my bed several weeks ago on a Sunday. I couldn't talk and I could barely walk. I couldn't turn the TV on, read a book, answer the phone, or even check my social media. I was completely disconnected from the world. I literally laid there in a pain only few could ever understand. I live alone so no one knew what I was going through and people have their own lives to live. I wouldn't do it myself. However, it was the first time I ever felt like if I closed my eyes and NEVER opened them again I wouldn't care. The pain is just that incredible. When I can't talk, my speech is greatly effected, and walking is beyond difficult, I just don't know where to turn... It's the loneliest path of pain riddled insanity I NEVER imagined taking...